Monday, June 22, 2015

Prayer of Surrender

I am not a control freak.

Never have been, never will be.

I'm more of a team player. I don't have to run the show or be the center of attention.

So when God asked me to start blogging for His glory, I had no problem with that.

Or, at least, I thought I had no problem with that.

But apparently I do. Most likely because I'm human, and humans are naturally selfish.

But every day I struggle with wanting this blog to be a success on my terms. I keep wanting to follow my vision for it. I wrestle with wanting control over the details every day.

But each day, God whispers to me, "Vanessa, I will take this further than you could ever imagine. It's mine to grow, mine to design, mine to promote."

So I take a deep breath and lend my controlling tendencies over to God, and say this prayer.

Lord, today my prayer is that you would use me. That you would show me where/who/what is standing in the way of me being in communion with you.

I have a very small dream: to write for your glory. But until I surrender that dream to your will and your ways, I will never accomplish it. With you as the guide, and me completely surrendered to your will, things can happen that are so far out of my reach and bigger than I can imagine.

God, I am ready. I am willing. 
I am surrendering myself to you, completely.

I am laying down my wants, needs, desires, dreams, and plans. Show me where there is need. Show me where I can use my personality and gifts and resources to glorify your name. Use me in the way that will make your glory the greatest.

I'm tired of my plans and my failed attempts at creating something good. Without you at the helm, I go nowhere. Without you, I am nothing. You are the Creator, the High Priest, the Lord Almighty. I praise you for you are above all things. I am in awe of you and your power and your mercy. Give me a heart like yours, wisdom that comes only from you, and the strength and drive to overcome obstacles that stand in my way.

I feel like something big is coming, but even if not, you're the Lord Almighty yesterday, today, and forever. Until you show me the way, I will surrender myself to you daily. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.