Thursday, June 16, 2016
A Change of Heart
As with most things in life, in order for anything to change, there had to be a change of heart for me.
Honestly, I was getting to the point where it simply didn't matter. My weight gain wasn't affecting any of my personal relationships, clothes are easy enough to replace, and I feel pretty much the same as I did before - no trouble breathing, no excessive tiredness, my doctor gave me a clean bill of health, and gosh darn it, I love to eat good food!
So what was the point in trying to be healthier than I was? Everything was fine. Not great. But fine.
Yet, there was this nagging worry in the back of my mind that eventually wound its way into my conversations.
I talked to my best friend about my genetic predispositions to brain hemorrhages and how weight can be a contributing factor.
I talked to my husband about how frustrated I felt that my clothes no longer were comfortable.
I got jealous of women who were fit and healthy. (This is horrible, by the way. More on that here.)
So, really, everything was not ok. I was destroying myself little by little, and once I realized it, I was not only disappointed, but straight up mad at myself.
And then I got an email from my dad asking me if I would run a Couch to 5k with him.
It said, "If we start now we can be in shape by mid-July. It only takes 3 days a week training. Of course you will most likely get there much quicker and easier than me, but I thought it would be fun to do it together long distance (no pun intended), and we can keep each other accountable? "
Now, let's be honest. I didn't want to do this. I hate running. I've always hated running. I couldn't imagine anything had changed since the last time I tried to run.
But you see, God has perfect timing. We all know this, but it never ceases to amaze me when it plays out so obviously in my life.
I had been on my dad for a while to find some kind of stress reliever and to lose some weight. And finally, he decided I was right just when I was spiraling out of control. God and his perfect timing, people. Am I right?
So, despite being flat out scared of trying to run a 5k, I said yes.
That was almost 4 weeks ago. And you know what? I have stuck with it, and most surprisingly of all, I have enjoyed it.
I can now run for 8 minutes at a time without stopping. Maybe this sounds like no big deal. But for me, it's awesome. It's 3/4 of a mile.
And it doesn't stop there! I have 3-4 more weeks of this training and (I can't believe I'm saying this) I am excited. No, not excited. More like completely pumped. Or jazzed, or ecstatic. I just can't believe I've turned into a runner.
I have so many thoughts circling through my mind about the connection between our physical bodies and our spirituality. The thoughts are chaotic and unorganized and passionate, and I know they've been placed there by God.
Christ is teaching me how to honor him with my earthly body.
He's teaching me how exercise and eating right is a form of worship, and it's taken all the nasty guilt and shame out of trying to lead a healthier life.
I can't wait to write more about it and to encourage you to get healthier as well.